Алиса в Стране чудес / Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland - Льюис Кэрролл

Alice stood where she was and waited.

When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked at her, and the Queen said severely 'Who is this?' She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply.

'Idiot!' said the Queen; and she turned to Alice, 'What's your name, child?'

'My name is Alice, your Majesty,' said Alice very politely; but she added, to herself, 'They're only a pack of cards. No need to be afraid of them!'

'And who are these?' the Queen pointed to the three gardeners.

'How could I know?' said Alice. 'It's not my business.'

The Queen turned crimson with fury, and screamed 'Off with her head! Off!'

'Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent.

The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said 'My dear: she is only a child!'

The Queen turned angrily. Then she turned to the rose-tree, and asked, 'What were you doing here?'

'Your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone, 'we were trying…'

'I see!' said the Queen, who was looking at the roses. 'Off with their heads!'

And the procession moved on, three of the soldiers went to the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.

'I shall save you!' said Alice, and she put them into a large flower-pot that stood near. Three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, and then quietly marched away.

'What about their heads?' shouted the Queen.

'Their heads are gone, your Majesty!' the soldiers shouted in reply.

'That's right!' shouted the Queen. 'Can you play croquet?'

The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice.

'Yes!' shouted Alice.

'Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession.

'It's – It's a very fine day!' said a timid voice. It was the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face.

'Very,' said Alice, 'where's the Duchess?'

'Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He put his mouth close to her ear and whispered 'She's under sentence of execution.'

'What for?' said Alice.

'Did you say “What a pity!”?' the Rabbit asked.

'No, I didn't,' said Alice: 'I don't think it's a pity. I said “What for?”'

'She boxed the Queen's ears,' the Rabbit began. Alice laughed.

'Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a frightened tone. 'The Queen will hear you! You see, she came late, and the Queen said…'

'Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder. It was a very curious croquet-ground! It was all ridges and furrows; the balls were hedgehogs, the mallets were flamingoes, and the soldiers were the arches.

The players all played at once, nobody was waiting for his turn. They were quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs. The Queen was furious and shouting 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with her head!' once in a minute.

Alice noticed a curious appearance in the air. It was a grin, and Alice said to herself 'It's the Cheshire Cat: now I have somebody to talk to.'

'How are you getting on?' said the Cat, when its mouth appeared.

'I don't think they play croquet,' Alice began, 'and they all quarrel so dreadfully!'

'How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice.

'Not at all,' said Alice: 'she's a…'

Just then she noticed that the Queen was near. The Queen was listening. So Alice went on, '… a very good player, I think I can't win.'

The Queen smiled.

'Who are you talking to?' said the King. He was looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity.

'It's my friend-a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice, 'let me introduce it.'

'I don't like it at all,' said the King, 'however, it may kiss my hand if it likes.'

'I do not want it,' the Cat remarked.

'Don't be impertinent,' said the King, 'and don't look at me like that!'

'A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. 'I read that in some book, but I don't remember where.'

'Well, I want to remove it,' said the King very decidedly, and he called the Queen, 'My dear! Please remove this cat!'

The Queen had only one answer.

'Off with his head!' she said.

'Very well,' said the King eagerly.

Alice watched the game. Three of the players were executed, and she did not like it at all. When she looked at the Cheshire Cat, she was very surprised. A large crowd collected round it. There was a dispute between the executioner, the King, and the Queen.

The executioner said that it impossible to cut off a cat's head, because it did not have a body. The King said that every head can be cut off. The Queen said that the best decision was to cut off all their heads.

Alice said, 'The Cat belongs to the Duchess: let us ask her about it.'

'She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: 'fetch her here.'

And the executioner went away like an arrow.

The Cat's head began to fade away. Soon it entirely disappeared. So everybody went back to the game.

Chapter IX

The Mock Turtle's Story

'You can't think how glad I am to see you again, my dear!' said the Duchess to Alice, and they walked together.

Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and thought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that made her so angry.

'When I am a Duchess,' she said to herself, 'I won't have any pepper in my kitchen at all. Maybe it's always pepper that makes people hot-tempered,' she went on, 'and vinegar that makes them sour-and camomile that makes them bitter-and-and barley-sugar that makes children sweet-tempered…'

'You're thinking about something, my dear, – said the Duchess, – and you forget to talk.