Алиса в Стране чудес / Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland - Льюис Кэрролл

'You did!' said the Hatter.

'I deny it!' said the March Hare.

'He denies it,' said the King.

'Well, the Dormouse said…' the Hatter went on slowly, but the Dormouse denied nothing. It was asleep.

'After that,' continued the Hatter, 'I cut some more bread…'

'But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked.

'That I can't remember,' said the Hatter.

'You must remember,' remarked the King, 'or I'll have you executed.'

The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, and went down on one knee.

'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he began.

'You're a very poor speaker,' said the King. 'If that's all you know about it, you may sit down.'

'I want to finish my tea,' said the Hatter, and looked at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers.

'You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the court.

'…and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one of the officers: but the Hatter was far away.

'Call the next witness!' said the King.

The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the pepper-box in her hand. The people near the door began to sneeze at once.

“Tell what you know of this case,” said the King.

'I shan't,' said the cook.

The King looked at the White Rabbit, who said in a low voice, 'Your Majesty must make her tell.'

“Well, if I must, I must,” said the King with a sad look. He folded his arms and frowned at the cook, then asked in a stern voice, 'What are tarts made of?'

'Pepper, mostly,' said the cook.

'Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her.

'Catch that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. 'Off with its head! Turn him out of court! Pinch him! Off with his head!'

For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, they ran here and there, they were trying to catch the Dormouse. The cook disappeared.

'That's all right,' said the King. 'Call the next witness.'

Alice watched the White Rabbit. Imagine her surprise, when the White Rabbit called her name: 'Alice!'

Chapter XII

Alice's Evidence

'Here!' cried Alice, but she forgot how large she was, and jumped up. The edge of her skirt tipped the jury box and turned them all out on the heads of the crowd below.

'Oh, I beg your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and began to pick them up again.

'The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave voice, 'until all the jurymen are back in their proper places-all,' he repeated with great force and looked hard at Alice…

Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little Lizard was waving its tail in the air, but could not move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; 'there's no big difference,' she said to herself.

'What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice.

'Nothing,' said Alice.

'Nothing at all?' persisted the King.

'Nothing at all,' said Alice.

'That's very important,' the King said, and turned to the jury. They were just beginning to write this down, when the White Rabbit interrupted: 'UNimportant, your Majesty means, of course,' he said in a very respectful tone.

'UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on, 'important-unimportant-unimportant-important'.

He was trying which word sounded best.

Some of the jury wrote it down 'important,' and some 'unimportant.' Alice could see this, she was near enough.

At this moment the King cried out 'Silence!' and read out from his book, 'Rule Forty-two. All persons more than a mile high to leave the court.'

Everybody looked at Alice.

'I'm not a mile high,' said Alice.

'You are,' said the King.

'Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen.

'Well, I shan't go,' said Alice: 'besides, that's not a regular rule: you invented it just now.'

'It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.

'Why is it not Number One?' said Alice.

The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily.

'Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury. His voice was low and trembling.

'There's something more, please your Majesty,' said the White Rabbit. He was jumping up; 'this letter!'

'What's in it?' said the Queen.

'I did not open it,' said the White Rabbit, 'but I think this is the letter which the Knave of Hearts wrote to-to somebody.'

'Exactly,' said the King, 'unless it was written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.'

“Whose name is on it?” said one of the jurymen.

'There's no name on it,' said the White Rabbit, as he looked at the letter; 'in fact, it's a rhyme.'

'Is the handwriting the prisoner's?' asked another of the jurymen.

'No, it's not,' said the White Rabbit, 'and that's the queerest thing.'

'He imitated somebody else's handwriting,' said the King.

'Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, 'I didn't write it, and they can't prove I did. There's no name at the end.'

'If you didn't sign it,' said the King, 'that only makes your case worse. Honest men always sign their letters.'

'That proves his guilt,' said the Queen.

'It proves nothing!' said Alice. 'Why, you don't even know what the rhyme is about!'

'Read it,' said the King.

The White Rabbit put on his spectacles.

'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked.

'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'

The White Rabbit read:

'They told me you said to her,

And spoke of me to him:

She gave me a good name, indeed,

But said I could not swim.

He sent them word I went away

(We know that it's true):

If she pushes the matter