Виктор Миловидов - Английский разговорный шутя. 100 самых смешных анекдотов на лучшие разговорные темы
the rest of остаток, остальные
to drop one's head опускать голову
to muster the courage собраться с духом
Exercises to the text1. Answer the questions to the text:
1. How many years have the couple been living together?
2. What had always bothered the old man?
3. What did he think about their marriage in general?
4. What did he want to know for sure?
5. Why did the woman drop her head unable to look into her husband's eye?
6. How many children of the family had a different father?
2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:
1. A very elderly _______ is having.
2. The old man leans _______ to his wife.
3. It has always _______ me.
4. Our tenth child never looked like _______ of our children.
5. I want to _______ you this has been the most wonderful experience.
6. The wife _______ her head, unable to look up.
7. The old man is very _______.
8. With a _______ in his eye he asks, «Who?»
3. Match the two parts of the sentences:
4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:
5. Translate from Russian into English:
1. Пара празднует 75-летнюю годовщину своей свадьбы.
2. Дорогая, есть кое-что, о чем я хочу спросить тебя.
3. Это было самое чудесное переживание из тех, на которые я мог когда-либо надеяться.
4. Твой ответ не изменит этого (не заберет это прочь).
5. У него был другой отец?
6. Жена опускает голову.
7. Она медлит мгновение, а потом признается.
8. Реальность того, в чем признается его жена, наносит ему сильный удар.
9. Кто был его отцом?
Revise English GrammarВ тексте встречаются прилагательные в двух различных степенях сравнения – сравнительной и превосходной: It has been the most wonderful experience… The reality hit him harder than…
Проверьте, как вы владеете навыками использования степеней сравнения прилагательных. При необходимости обратитесь к грамматическому комментарию (раздел 23).
6. Translate from Russian into English:
1. Муж был старше жены на пять лет.
2. Это был в высшей степени элегантный обед.
3. Наш десятый ребенок гораздо выше, чем первый.
4. Его голова (brains) работает лучше, чем у других детей.
5. Он – лучший в семье.
6. Это было самое чудесное переживание в моей жизни.
7. Он был самым непослушным (naughty) из всех детей, когда был маленьким.
8. Слеза на правом глазу намного больше, чем слеза на левом.
9. Ты гораздо глупее (stupid), чем отец остальных детей.
7. Fill in the blanks with prepositions where necessary:
1. A very elderly couple is sitting _______ a restaurant.
2. The old man says softlyh _______ is wife, «Dear, take some _______ this salad.»
3. Our tenth child never quite looked like the rest _______ our children.
4. These years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped _______.
5. She is unable to look her husband _______ the eye.
6. The wife paused _______ a moment and then confessed.
7. The old man is very shaken _______ the reality what his wife admitted.
8. With a tear _______ his eye he asks, «Who?»
9. She said nothing _______ first, and then she told the truth _______ her husband.
8. Find English equivalents to the Russian words in the scanword:
1. (е… ) элегантный, 2. (b… ) беспокоить, 3. (s… ) трясти, сотрясать, 4. (p… ) свойство, качество, 5. (p… ) драгоценный, 6. (w… ) богатство, состояние, 7. (d… ) плотный, 8. (s… ) образец, 9. (d…) разрушаться, разлагаться, 10. (i…) доход.
9. Render the joke.
Section 22
The mistress
A married couple was enjoying a dinner out when a statuesque brunette walked over to their table, exchanged warm greetings with the husband, and walked off.
«Who was that?» the wife demanded.
«If you must know,» the husband replied, «that was my mistress.»
«Your mistress? That's it! I want a divorce!» the wife fumed.
The husband looked her straight in the eye and said, «Are you sure you want to give up our big house in the suburbs, your Mercedes, your furs, your jewelry, and our vacation home in Mexico?»
For a long time they continued dining in silence. Finally, the woman nudged her husband and said, «Isn't that Howard over there? Who's he with?»
«That's HIS mistress,» her husband replied.
«Oh,» she said, taking a bite of dessert. «Ours is much cuter.»
Study the words and expressions given below:
to enjoy наслаждаться, получать удовольствие
statuesque статный, фигуристый
brunette брюнетка
to exchange обмениваться
warm теплый
greetings приветствия
to demand требовать; спрашивать
mistress любовница
divorce развод
to fume перен. кипятиться, возмущаться
straight прямо
to give up бросать, отказываться
Mercedes «мерседес»
furs меха
jewelry драгоценности
vacation отпуск
to continue продолжать
to dine обедать
silence молчание, тишина
to nudge подталкивать локтем
bite кусочек
dessert десерт
ours наша
a dinner out обед в ресторане
to walk over подойти (к чему-л.)
suburbs пригород
Exercises to the text1. Answer the questions to the text:
1. Who came over the couple when they were having dinner?
2. What's a brunette?
3. What type of a car does the wife have?
4. Where do they spend their vacation?
5. Whose mistress is better – the husband's or Howard's?
2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:
1. A couple was _______ a dinner out.
2. A brunette _______ warm greetings with the husband.
3. I want a _______ !
4. Do you want _______ our big house in the suburbs?
5. They continued _______ in silence.
6. Finally, the woman _______ her husband.
3. Say if the statement is true or false:
1. A married couple was enjoying a dinner out when an ugly brunette walked over to their table.
2. The husband hit her right in the eye.
3. Are you sure you want to give up our big house in the suburbs?
4. For a long time they continued dining in silence.
5. Finally, the woman nudged her husband.
6. «That's YOUR mistress,» her husband replied.
4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:
5. Translate from Russian into English:
1. Супружеская пара наслаждалась обедом в ресторане.
2. Если тебе нужно знать, то это моя любовница.
3. Вот как!
4. Муж посмотрел ей прямо в глаза.
5. Ты хочешь расстаться со своим «мерседесом», своими мехами и драгоценностями?
6. Долгое время они продолжали обедать в тишине.
7. С кем он?
8. Наша гораздо лучше.
Revise English GrammarГерундиальные и инфинитивные обороты
Можно ли в предложении For a long time they continued dining in silence… герундий (dining) заменить на инфинитив (to dine), и какие правила сочетания герундия и инфинитива существуют?
Проверьте свои навыки в этом вопросе; при необходимости обратитесь к грамматическому комментарию (раздел 24).
6. Fill in the blanks with a Gerund or an Infinitive:
1. A married couple seemed (enjoy) _______ their dinner.
2. They really enjoyed (have) _______ their dinner all alone.
3. The wife objected to her husband's (drink) _______ too much of champagne.
4. The waiter kept (bring) _______ more and more delicious food.
5. The wife didn't expect her husband (exchange) _______ warm greetings with a woman who appeared (be) _______ a total stranger to her.
6. She insisted on (have) _______ a divorce.
7. Do you want (give up) _______ our big house in the suburbs?
8. She didn't mind (have) _______ a mistress who was much cuter than that of Howard's.
Revise English GrammarВ предложении Ours is cuter… используется так называемая абсолютная форма притяжательного падежа личного местоимения we.
Проверьте навыки использования данной формы, при необходимости обращаясь к грамматическому комментарию (раздел 25).
7.Translate into English:
1. – У Говарда большой дом.
– Наш больше.
2. – У жены Говарда много драгоценностей.
– Твои дороже.
3. – У Говарда новая машина.
– Моя новее.
4. – У Говарда хорошая любовница.
– Наша лучше.
8.Render the joke.
Section 23
Marriage counselor
After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.
«What seems to be the problem?» Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage. After 5—10—15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless.
He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened. The counselor spoke to the husband, «Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!»
The husband scratched his head and replied, «I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays.»
Study the words and expressions given below:
a few несколько
constant постоянный
arguments споры
to counsel советовать, консультировать
counselor советник, консультант
counseling консультирование
immediately немедленно
wrongs недостатки, неудобства, дефекты
within внутри
shoulder плечо
to kiss целовать
passionately страстно
afterwards после, впоследствии
speechless безгласный, безмолвный
disbelief недоверие
to scratch скрести, чесать
to be at sb's throat перен. быть готовым взять кого-л. за горло
to jump in зд. сразу приступить к делу
to open the floor for discussion открыть обсуждение
on the other hand с другой стороны (on the one hand с одной стороны)
to talk 90 miles an hour болтать со скоростью 90 миль в час
