Ирвин Ялом - The Schopenhauer Cure
«Am I mistaken?»
«Come again, Philip. Say the words—it won`t hurt.»
«You said you had significant health problems. Can you tell me more?»
«Good start, Philip. An open–ended comment is by far the best choice.» Julius
paused to collect his thoughts and to consider how much to reveal to Philip. «Well, I`ve
very recently learned that I have a form of skin cancer called malignant melanoma which
poses a serious threat to my life, though my doctors assure me that for the next year I
should remain in good health.»
«I feel even more strongly,” Philip responded, «that the Schopenhaurian vision I
offered in my lecture would be of value to you. In our therapy I remember you once said
that life was a вЂtemporary condition with a permanent solution`—that is pure
Schopenhauer.»
«Philip, that perspective was meant in jest.»
«Well we know, don`t we, what your own guru, Sigmund Freud, had to say about
jesting. My point still stands: Schopenhauer`s wisdom contains much that will serve you
well.»
«I`m not your supervisor, Philip, that`s still to be determined, but I`ll give you
psychotherapy lesson number one, gratis.It`s not ideas, nor vision, nor tools that truly
matter in therapy. If you debrief patients at the end of therapy about the process, what do
they remember?Never the ideas—it`salways the relationship. They rarely remember an
important insight their therapist offered but generally fondly recall their personal
relationship with the therapist. And I`m going to venture a guess that this is even true for
you. Why did you remember me so well and value what happened between us so much
that you now, after all these years, turn to me for supervision? It`s not because of those
two comments—however provocative they were—no, I believe it was because of some
bond you felt with me. I believe you might have some deep affection for me, and because
our relationship, however difficult though it might have been, was meaningful, you are
now turning to me again in the hope of some form of embrace.»
«Wrong on all counts, Dr. Hertzfeld...”
«Yeah, yeah, so wrong that the mere mention of an embrace sends you scurrying
back to formal titles again.»
«Wrong on all counts, Julius. First, I want to caution you against the error of
assuming that your view of reality is the real thing—theres naturalis —and that your
mission is to impose this vision on others. You crave and value relationships, and you
make the erroneous assumption that I, indeed everyone, must do the same and that if I
claim otherwise, I`ve repressed my relationship–craving.
«It seems likely,” Philip continued, «that a philosophical approach may be far
preferable for someone like me. The truth is—you and I are fundamentally different. I
havenever drawn pleasure from the company of others—their drivel, their demands, their
ephemeral petty strivings, their pointless lives—are a nuisance and an obstacle to my
communion with the handful of great world spirits who have something of significance to
say.»
«Then why sign on to be a therapist? Why not remain with the great world spirits?
Why busy yourself offering help to these pointless lives?»
«If, like Schopenhauer, I had an inheritance to support myself, I assure you I would
not be here today. It`s entirely a matter of economic need. My educational expenses have
depleted my bank account, my teaching pays a pittance, the college is near bankruptcy,
and I doubt that I will be rehired. I need to see only a few clients a week to meet my
expenses: I live frugally, I wish to acquire nothing except the freedom to pursue what is
truly important to me: my reading, thinking, meditation, music, chess, and my walks with
Rugby, my dog.»
«You have still not answered my question: why come to see me when it is clear I
work in quite a different fashion from the way you want to work? And you haven`t
responded to my conjecture that there`s something about our past relationship drawing
you to me.»
«I didn`t respond because it`s so far off the mark. But since it seems important to
you, I`ll continue to ponder your conjecture. Don`t conclude that I`m questioning the
presence of basic interpersonal needs. Schopenhauer himself said that bipeds—his
term—need to huddle together by the fire for warmth. He cautioned, however, about
getting singed by too much huddling. He liked porcupines—they huddled for warmth but
used their quills to keep their separateness. He treasured his separateness and depended
on nothing outside himself for his happiness. And he wasn`t alone on this; other great
men, Montaigne, for example, shared this way of thinking.
«I also fear bipeds,” Philip continued, «and I agree with his observation that a
happy man is one who can avoid most of his fellow creatures. And how can you not agree
that bipeds create a hell here on Earth? Schopenhauer said, вЂHomo homini lupus`—man
is a wolf to man; I`m certain that he was the inspiration for Sartre`sNo Exit. ”
«All well and good, Philip. But you`re confirming my very point: that you may not
be equipped to work as a therapist. Your point of view leaves no room for friendships.»
«Every time I reach out to another, I end up with less of myself. I have not had a
friendship in adulthood, nor do I care to form one. You may remember I was a solitary
child with a disinterested mother and an unhappy father who eventually took his life. To
be frank, I`ve never met anyone who has anything of interest to offer me. And it`s not
because I haven`t looked. Every time I`ve tried to befriend someone, I`ve had the same
experience as Schopenhauer, who said he only found miserable wretches, men of limited
intelligence, bad heart, and mean disposition. I`m referring to living persons—not to the
great thinkers of the past.
«You met me, Philip.»
«That was a professional relationship. I refer to social encounters.»
«These attitudes are visible in your behavior. With your contempt and lack of
social skills spawned by this contempt, how can you possibly interact with others in a
therapeutic manner?»
«We`re not in disagreement there—I agree I need to work on social skills. A little
friendliness and warmth, Schopenhauer said, makes it possible to manipulate people just
as we need to warm wax if we wish to work it.»
Julius rose, shaking his head. He poured a cup of coffee for himself and paced back
and forth. «Working wax is not just a bad metaphor;—it`s about the worst goddamn
metaphor for therapy I`ve ever encountered—in fact itis the worst. You sure as hell are
not pulling your punches. Nor, incidentally, are you making your friend and therapist,
Arthur Schopenhauer, endearing to me.»
Taking his seat again and sipping his coffee, Julius said, «I`m not repeating my
offer of coffee because I`m assuming you want nothing to do with anything except the
answer to your singular question about supervision. You seem very strongly focused,
Philip, so I will be merciful and cut to the chase. Here`s my decision about supervising
you...”
Philip, who had been averting his gaze throughout this discussion, looked directly
at Julius for the first time.
«You`ve got a fine mind, Philip. You know a great deal. Maybe you`ll find a way
to harness your knowledge in the service of therapy. Maybe you`ll end up making real
contributions. I hope so.But you`re not ready to be a therapist. And you`re not ready for
supervision. Your interpersonal skills, sensitivity, and awareness need work—a lot of
work. But I want to be helpful to you. I failed once, and now I`ve got a second chance.
Can you think of me as your ally, Philip?»
«Let me answer that question after I hear your proposal, which I assume is
imminent.»
«Jesus! All right, here it is. I, Julius Hertzfeld, agree to be Philip Slate`s supervisor
if,and only if, he first spends six months as a patient in my psychotherapy group.»
For once, Philip was startled. He had not anticipated Julius`s response. «You`re not
serious.»
«Never been more.»
«I tell you that after so many years of sloshing about in the sewers I`ve finally got
my life together. I tell you that I want to earn a living as a therapist and that to do so I
need a supervisor—that`s the one thing I need. Instead you offer me what I don`t want
and can`t afford.»
«I repeat, you`re not ready for supervision, not ready to be a therapist, but I think
that group therapy can begin to address your deficits. Those are my conditions. First, a
course of group therapy and then, and only then, will I supervise you.»
«Your group therapy fees?»
«Not high. Seventy dollars for a ninety–minute session. And, incidentally, that`s
billed even if you miss a meeting.»
«How many patients in the group?»
«I try to keep it about seven.»
«Seven times seventy dollars—that`s four hundred and ninety dollars. For an hour
and a half. That`s an interesting commercial venture. And what`s the point of group
therapy—the way you do it?»
«The point? What have we been talking about? Look, Philip, I`ll be blunt: how can
you be a therapist when you don`t know what the fuck is going on between you and other
people?»
«No, no. I`ve gottenthat point. My question was imprecise. I`ve had no training in
group therapy and am asking for clarification about how it operates. How will it profit me
to hear others describe their lives and problems en masse? The very idea of such a chorus
of misery appalls me, although, as Schopenhauer points out, there is always pleasure in
learning that others suffer more than you.»
«Oh, you`re asking for an orientation. That`s a justified request. I make a point of
providing an orientation to group therapy to every patient entering a group. Every
therapist should do that. So let me give you my spiel. First, my approach is rigorously
interpersonal, and I make the assumption that each member is in the group because of
difficulties in establishing sustaining relationships...”
«But, that`s not true. I neither wish nor need...”
«I know, I know. Just humor me on this, Philip. I merely said I make the
assumption that these interpersonal difficulties are present—I assume it`s the case
whether you agree or not. As for my goal in the therapy group, I can be real clear about
that:it is to help each member understand as much as possible about how he or she
relates to each person in the group, including the therapist. I maintain a here–and–now
focus—that`s an essential concept for you to master as a therapist, Philip. In other words,
the group works ahistorically: we focus on thenow —there`s no need to investigate each
member`s past history in depth—we focus on the current moment in the group; and on
thehere —forget about what members say has gone wrong in other relationships—I make
the assumption that group members will manifest the same behavior in the group that has
created difficulties for them in their social life. And I further assume that ultimately they
will generalize what they learn about their group relationships to their relationships
outside. Is that clear? I can give you reading material if you wish.»
«It`s clear. What ground rules does the group have?»
«First confidentiality—you speak to no one about other members of the group.
Second—you strive to reveal yourself and to be honest in expressing your perceptions of
other members and your feelings about them. Third—everything must go on inside the
group. If there is contact between members outside the group, it must be brought back
into the group and discussed.»
«And this is the only way you`re willing to supervise me?»
«Absolutely. You want me to train you? Well, this is my prerequisite.»
Philip sat silently with eyes closed and his forehead resting on his clasped hands.
Then he opened his eyes and said, «I`ll go along with your suggestion only if you are
willing to credit the group therapy sessions as supervisory hours.»
«That`s a stretch, Philip. Can you imagine the ethical dilemma that creates for
me?»
«Can you imagine the dilemma your proposal creates for me? To turn my attention
to my relations with others when I never wish for anyone to be anything to me. Besides,
did you not imply that improving my social skills will make me more effective as a
therapist?»
Julius stood up, took his coffee cup to the sink, shook his head, wondered about
what he had gotten himself into, returned to his seat, exhaled slowly, and said, «Fair
enough, I`ll agree to sign off the group therapy hours as supervision.»
«One other thing: we haven`t discussed the logistics of the exchange—of my
offering you guidance on Schopenhauer.»
«Whatever we do on that matter will have to wait, Philip. Another therapy pointer:
avoid dual relationships with patients—they will interfere with therapy. I refer to all
kinds of ancillary relationships: romantic, business, even teacher and student. So I much
prefer, and this is for your sake, to keep our relationship clean and clear. That`s why I am
suggesting we start with the group and then, in the future, enter into a supervisory
relationship, and then, possibly—I make no promises—a philosophy tutorial. Though at
the moment I feel no great desire to study Schopenhauer.»
«Still, can we establish a fee for my future philosophical consultation with you.»
«That`s iffy, and a long way off, Philip.»
«I`d still like to set the fee.»
«You continue to amaze me, Philip. The goddamnedest things you worry about!
And the things you don`t!»
«Just the same, what`s a fair fee?»
«My policy is to charge the supervisee the same fee I charge for individual
therapy—with some reduction for beginning students.»
«Done,” said Philip, nodding.
«Hold on, Philip, I want to be certain you`ve heard me say that the idea of a
Schopenhauer tutorial arrangement is not of great import to me. When the topic first
arose between us, all I did was to voice some slight interest in how Schopenhauer had
provided so much help to you, and you ran with the ball and assumed we had made a
contractual arrangement.»
«I hope to increase your interest in his work. He had much to say of great value to
our field. In so many ways he anticipated Freud, who borrowed his work wholesale,
without acknowledgement.»
«I`ll keep an open mind, but, I repeat, many of the things you`ve said about
Schopenhauer do not pique my desire to know more about his work.»
«Including what I said in my lecture about his views on death?»
«Especially that. The idea that one`s essential being will ultimately be reunited
with some vague, ethereal universal life force offers me zero comfort. If there is no
