The teacher. A play for 4 people. Comedy - Николай Владимирович Лакутин

Anna. Well?

Ksyusha. This one is mine… The boyfriend from the store invited me to the restaurant.

Anna. So?

Ksyusha. I said I'd think about it. We exchanged phone numbers. We've already exchanged even a dozen messages. Can you smell what it smells like?

Anna. Yes, I can smell it, but I don't like it.

Ksyusha. Do I like it?

Anna. Apparently, I like it.

Ksyusha. No, Anek, if my dumbass didn't pull the cat by the tail, that's another conversation. And so… Am I supposed to wait for an offer from him before carrot charms and blue cucumbers?

Anna. I don't know…

Ksyusha. So I do not know either.

Anna. What's the name of this prYnce of yours?

Ksyusha. Pavlik.

Anna. M… Pavlik. It's nothing like that. But Alexander somehow sounds more dignified.

Ksyusha. Pavel is also not stupid!

Anna. I don't know. Think for yourself. As for me, this is a betrayal.

Ksyusha. And to spend so much time murdering me and not to ask me to marry is not a betrayal?

Anna. Why don't you just talk to him about it? To find out about his future plans, to tell about his own. And if they don't have any points of contact at all, then God be with him, you can part ways and try something with this Paul. But at least it will be honest!

Ksyusha. Never offer to teach fish to swim, eat mashed potatoes crushed. By the way, I did. Will you?

Anna. No, where are you going? It's night outside.

Ksyusha. So, what are you going to do with this Victor? Here you are now all in beauty, all such a mua-mua-mua! What's next? Will you talk to him?

Anna. Probably.

Ksyusha. Yes, Anka… I don't recognize you. You've really changed a lot, and really, not only externally.

Anna. Everything flows, everything changes…

Ksyusha. Yeah… It's changing… yeah… And it flows…

they look at each other.

Ksyusha. What are you going to tell him?

Anna. I'll tell you how it is, and then be as it will be.

Ksyusha. What? Will you just say it like that? That she fell for him in an unchildlike way, that this was all for him and for him! That she had been waiting for him alone all her life and was taking care of herself for this fateful meeting?

Anna. We'll see. I'm sorry, Ksyusha, I think I'll figure this out on my own. According to the situation.

Ksyusha. Oh, where to go. She'll figure it out. Well, figure it out, figure it out. You'll come running to me later, you'll cry again. Do you think you're the only one who likes him so handsome? Yes, he's probably already being hoarded by crowds of hunters. Try to get in — the competitors will devour you!

Anna. And I'm not afraid. Let's see who eats who!

Ksyusha. Where does it come from? It's like miracles. I went to bed. Good night.

Ksyusha gets up and is about to leave.

Anna. Good night. And I'll still sit and dream…

Ksyusha. Come on, come on… A dreamer.

Ksyusha leaves. Finally, he stops once more, looks at Anna, transformed beyond recognition, is sincerely surprised and goes to sleep.

Anna takes another sip of coffee, sits, daydreams.

Flat. Weekend. It's late morning.

A sober Victor enters, dragging a "smoke-soaked" Sanka on his back.

Victor. Ding-ding! Is there anyone? He did not ring the doorbell, but took the keys from Alexander. Are you asleep, or is there no one?

A sleepy Ksyusha comes out.

Ksyusha. Hi. They showed up — they didn't get dusty. Yes, we should take the keys from this Alexander, otherwise he walks like to his own home!

Sanek. Uh, with (hiccups)A little box. What do you mean, how to get home? I actually kind of live here… Sometimes.

Ksyusha. That's what it is, sometimes. Do you already know where this otherness of yours is for me? And neither there nor here. (To Victor). Why did you bring him here? He has his own house.

Victor. That's what he said to take it back to where he got it from. I took it here, after all.

Ksyusha. Fair. And why is Sanka in the trash, and you're a cucumber?

Victor. Because I'm not a fan of this business.

Victor puts his finger to his throat, shows a gesture of drinking.

Sanek. And the prof (with a whistle)professional!

Ksyusha. All right, professional. Put this here, my onion grief somewhere.

A sleepy Anna comes out.

Anna. Good morning, everyone!

Ksusha. Yeah.

Victor. Good morning, Anna.

Sanek. Nyuyurochka, you're my girl, hello. Why didn't you come with us? We got so upset with Vitka. There is still no face on it. Look over there. (He points at Victor). There is no face on the person. (To Victor). Where did you put your face? The face-oh! Where are you? Come back, we're looking for you!

Ksyusha (Sanka). Uh! You're an obsequious drunk! Did you get your girl mixed up? I'm going to sober up with a frying pan in one fell swoop!

Sanek. Sorry! The focus got a little upset.

Ksyusha. I'll set it up now!

Anna (to Ksyusha and Sanka). Maybe you can figure it out later? Alone?