Meg Cabot - Size 12 Is Not Fat

“It’s just that… I’m… I’m really confused right now, Heather,” he says. “I mean, you’re so… well, you’re just great. But Tania… I talked it over with Dad, and I just… well, I can’t break up with Tania right now. Not with the new album coming out. My dad says—”

“What?” I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I mean, I believe it. I just can’t believe he’s actually saying it.

“Seriously, Heather. He’s really pissed about that photo in the Post —”

“You don’t think that I —”

“No, no, of course not. But it looks really bad, Heather. Tania’s got the best-selling album on the label right now, and my dad says, you know, if I were to leave her, it’d really hurt my new album’s chances of—”

“Okay,” I say. I don’t think I can bear to hear any more. This so isn’t anything I’d rehearsed a speech for. “It’s all right. Really, Jordan. It is.”

And the weirdest thing is that, at that moment, it kind of is all right. Somehow, hearing Jordan tell me that he can’t get back together with me because his dad won’t like it completely snuffs out whatever romantic feelings I still have for him.

Not that I had any. Anymore.

Jordan’s mouth kind of falls open in astonishment. He’d clearly been expecting tears of some kind. And in a way, I do feel like crying. But not because of him.

I don’t see any point in telling Jordan that, though. I mean, the guy has enough problems as it is. Sarah would probably have a field day diagnosing all his deep-seated neuroses…

Jordan returns my smile with almost childlike relief, and says, “Wow. Okay. That’s just… that’s really sweet of you, Heather.”

Strangely enough, all I can think of at that moment is Cooper. Not, you know, how sad it is that I think he’s so hot, and he barely knows I’m alive… except, you know, for the fact that the pile of receipts on his desk keeps slowly disappearing.

No, I find myself actually praying that Cooper, wherever he is, doesn’t happen to pick up a copy of this morning’s Post. Because the last thing I want is him knowing I’d been making out with—and thank God this was all the Post had photographic evidence of—his brother on his front stoop…

I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been working in Fischer Hall for so long that I’ve sort of developed a sixth sense about these things or what. But it’s right about then that I feel something. A sudden rush of air, a shadow out of the corner of my eye, and I let go of Jordan’s hand fast and yell, “Look out!” before I’m even completely aware of what’s happening.

Then the next thing I know, there’s a sickening thudding sound, then a crash. Then dirt and sharp things are flying through the air.

When I take my arms away from my head and uncover my eyes, I’m horrified to see Jordan sprawled across the sidewalk next to his limo, a huge gash on the side of his head from which blood is pumping steadily, making a soup out of the fine layer of dirt, geraniums, and cement shards that litter the area.

I’m transfixed with shock for a second or two.

Then I’m on my knees at Jordan’s side.

“Ohmigod!” A girl who’d been standing a few feet away, trying to hail a taxi, comes running up. “Ohmigod, I saw the whole thing! It was a plant! A potted plant! It came flying down from that penthouse up there!”

“Go inside,” I say to her, in a calm voice I don’t recognize as my own, “and tell the security guard to call an ambulance and the police. Then ask the desk attendant for the first aid kit.”

The girl does as I say, wobbling on her high heels. She’s all dressed up for a job interview, but doesn’t seem to realize that she’s going to be very, very late for it.

What had that instructor said, way back when I’d first trained for this position, about CPR?

Oh, right. Stop. Look. And listen.

I stop and see with relief that Jordan’s chest is rising and falling. He’s still breathing. A pulse beats in his neck, hard and steady. He’s unconscious, but not near death—yet. The planter has struck a glancing blow, sliding down the side of his head, behind his ear, and causing a huge welt on his shoulder. His shirt is torn right through.

Blood is still coursing from the open wound on his head, though, and I’m considering whipping off my own shirt to use as a bandage—that wouldn’t make me too popular with the guys in the chess circle—when the limo driver comes running around the car, at the same time that Pete comes bursting through the front door of the residence hall.

“Here, Heather.” He thrusts the reception desk first aid kit at me, his dark eyes wide. “I got an ambulance on the way, too.”

“Is he dead?” the limo driver asks nervously, a cell phone to his ear. Undoubtedly he’s on with Jordan’s dad.

I hand over my envelope from Banking to Pete, then rum mage through the first aid kit, find a rolled up Ace bandage, and shove that into the wound. It turns dark red almost immediately.

“Go get me a towel, or something,” I say to Pete, still in this strange, calm voice that sounds so unlike my own. Maybe it’s my future voice. You know, the voice I’m going to use in my medical practice, after I get my degree. “There are some linens left over from summer conference housing in the package room. Go get me a couple towels.”

Pete is off like a shot. People have started to gather around, Fischer Hall residents as well as people from the chess circle in the park. They all have plenty of medical advice to offer.

“Lift up his head,” one of the drug dealers urges me.

“No, lift up his feet,” someone else says. “If the face is red, raise the head. If the face is pale, raise the tail.”

“His face is red, mon.”

“That’s just from all the blood.”

“Hey, isn’t that Jordan Cartwright?”

Pete returns with several clean white towels. The first turns red after only a minute or so. The second seems to do the trick. Blood stops gushing out so alarmingly as I press the towel to Jordan’s head.

“How did it happen?” everyone keeps asking.

A man from the chess circle volunteers: “I saw the whole thing. You’re lucky you weren’t killed, lady. That thing was heading straight for you. If you hadn’t jumped outta the way—”

The police arrive before the ambulance, take one look at what I’m doing, and apparently approve, because the next thing I know, they’ve started shooing people away, telling them the show is over.

I say, urgently, “Take statements from the witnesses! This thing didn’t just fall, you know. Somebody pushed it!”

Everyone gathers eagerly around the policemen, wanting to tell their story. It’s right around then that Rachel comes running out of the building, her high heels clacking on the pavement.

“Oh, Heather!” she cries, picking her way through the shards of cement and clods of dirt and geranium. “Oh, Heather! I just heard. Is he—is he going to be—”

“He’s still breathing,” I say. I keep the towel pressed to the wound, which has finally stopped bleeding. “Where’s that ambulance?”

But right then it pulls up, and the EMS workers leap out and, thankfully, take over. I’m more than happy to get out of the way. Rachel puts an arm around my shoulders as we watch them take Jordan’s vital signs. One of the cops, meanwhile, goes inside, while the other one picks up one of the larger chunks of planter and looks at me.

“Who’s in charge here?” he wants to know.

Rachel says, “I guess that’d be me.”

“Any idea where this came from?” the cop asks, holding up the slab.

“Well, it looks like one of the cement planters from the Allingtons’ terrace,” Rachel replies. She turns and points up, toward Fischer Hall’s facade. “Up there,” she says, craning her neck. “Twentieth floor. The penthouse. There are planters like this lined all around the terrace.” She quits pointing and looks at me. “I can’t imagine how it could have happened. The wind, maybe?”

I feel really cold, but it isn’t from any wind. It’s as warm a day in fall as any.

Magda, who has joined us, seems to agree.

“There is no wind today,” she says. “On New York One they said it would be mild all day long.”

“None of those planters ever blew over before,” Pete says. “And I been here twenty years.”

“Well, you can’t be suggesting someone pushed it,” Rachel says, looking horrified. “I mean, the students don’t even have access to the terrace—”

“Students?” The cop squints at us. “This some kind of dorm, or something?”

“Residence hall,” both Rachel and I correct him automatically.

The EMS workers load Jordan onto a backboard, then onto a stretcher, and then into the back of the ambulance. As they are closing the doors, I glance at Rachel.

“I should go with him,” I say to her.

She gives me a little push toward the vehicle. “Of course, you should,” she says kindly. “You go. I’ll take care of things here. Call me and let me know how he is.”

I tell her I will, and hurry after the EMS guys, asking them if I can hitch a ride to the hospital with them. They’re totally cool about it, and let me take the passenger seat of the cab.

From the front seat, I can look back through this little door and see what the paramedic who isn’t driving is doing to Jordan. What he is doing to Jordan is asking him what day of the week it is. Apparently, Jordan’s regaining consciousness. He doesn’t know what day of the week it is, though, and only grunts in response, like someone who’d really like to go back to sleep.

I think about suggesting that they ask him who he’s engaged to, but then decide this would be too mean.

As we pull away from the hall, I notice that Rachel, Sarah, Pete, and Magda are all huddled on the sidewalk, gazing worriedly after me.

I realize then, with a kind of pang, that yeah, okay, maybe I don’t have a boyfriend.

But I do have a family.

A weird one, maybe.

But I’ve got one.

18

You got me crying

With all your lying

Why you gotta be

So mean to me?

Baby, can’t you see

You and me were

Meant to be?

Instead you got me

Crying

And you’re not even

Trying

Baby why you gotta

Be this way?

“Crying”

Performed by Heather Wells

Composed by Dietz/Ryder

From the album Summer

Cartwright Records

In the nearly four months since I started working at New York College, I’ve been to just about every emergency room in Manhattan with various sick or injured students. St. Vincent’s isn’t really one of my favorites. There’s a TV in the waiting room and everything, but it’s always turned to soap operas, and the candy machine is always out of Butterfingers.

Also, a lot of junkies go there to try to convince the triage nurse that they really need some morphine for these mysterious pains in their feet. The junkies are entertaining to watch for a while, but when they start withdrawing they get hostile, and then the security guard has to throw them out and then they beat on the windows and in general make it very hard to concentrate on Jane magazine or whatever I happen to be reading.