Women are not unicorns - Маргарита Резник

As a result, I carefully hid from each guy that I was a man. And who am I? Fairy, no less. Girls can't fart, poop, or stink. Girls should smell like lilies of the valley.

But as luck would have it, the epiphany came with just the man I wanted to marry.

We went to my place after another light dinner to meet our friends.

In my apartment, the four of us sat comfortably on the sofa, smoked through the window, drank wine and discussed philosophical topics. Everything was going as well as possible when suddenly something interrupted the conversation.

I looked incredibly beautiful that evening, perfect makeup, new dress, correct speech, no reason to discover that I was a farm guy.

You know the sound like your pants bursting? Crackling sound throughout the room.

And suddenly there was silence. Everyone fell silent. I am surprised by the resilience of my friends and men. Nobody even blinked an eye. Not a single muscle moved on their faces. After a couple of seconds, they continued to enthusiastically talk about female and male disagreements, something from the category of everyday philosophy of the sexes.

But I knew that I couldn’t help but confess. She ran to the toilet in horror. A minute later, my gentleman was already standing near the door and asked to talk to him. I opened.

— Everything is fine? How are you

— What a shame, what a shame. God, I must have eaten something wrong.

(he didn’t yet know that over the next nine years I ate something wrong many times, poor fellow).

— Come on, stop it, it happens to everyone.

— Well, how so, not in society…

— Come on, they all did it. And I. Girls are not unicorns who eat flowers and poop rainbows. You are people just like boys. We are all cut from the same cloth. Relax.

In general, he calmed me down then. I returned to the room, blushing, and no one neighed like a horse; my friends steadfastly supported me, exhaling tobacco smoke through the window.

Since then, there has not been a moment when I didn’t remember this incident without laughing wildly. Even now I burst into tears before typing.

You know, I am writing this story to the whole world and I understand that someone needs to relax the girls. My dears, I tell you with complete confidence that if a man loves you, then he doesn’t care that you are not perfect.

Maybe you shouldn’t spoil the air at the first opportunity, but you won’t be able to pretend to be a princess all your life. Sooner or later, a moment of epiphany will come: either he will get scared and run away, or you will realize that he loves you as you are, with flaws.

Here's another story from my mom. My parents divorced, as you remember, but even in their thirtieth year of marriage they were still strangers.

I remember how the three of us sat in front of the TV and sometimes exchanged remarks about what we saw, when suddenly a crackling sound escaped my mother.

I looked into her eyes in surprise. She panicked, pretending to be a princess, and put her finger to her lips, saying, don’t say anything, don’t let your father know. I turned my gaze to him, there really was indifference, he was absorbed in the colored box.

I look at my mother again, asking “why.” And then she burst out, she began to shake with laughter, squeezing it inside herself as hard as possible, which only made the laughter intensify. I couldn’t look at it indifferently and went into another room to laugh heartily. Can you imagine the level of constriction among Soviet women? By the age of fifty or sixty, one still convinces oneself that she is not a person, but a unicorn.

That is, a woman with a woman can be frank, herself. And only with a close woman. But with the man they are complete strangers.

I can imagine what was going on in their bedroom. I'm not surprised that dad started having problems. They both didn't want to acknowledge their bodies. It is not permissible to do things that are so natural for a person in fear, so the situation looks absurd.

Well, I once heard a wise man say:

— Do you know how to understand whether one loves the other?

— No.

— If he does not feel disgust when his beloved has earthly manifestations. Here is a girl vomiting, and a guy gives her water. The guy has diarrhea, and his madam is cleaning the toilet after him.

— Wow. Strongly.

— I saw how in a restaurant on the eve of the wedding the bride had doubts and conducted this test for herself. She watched her beloved all evening, and everything was fine until the pasta hung on his chin.

They never got married. She didn't love him.

— Wow.

I was then impressed by this story and used it in my life.

My neighbor and friend Valery didn’t like to wash his T-shirts, and he constantly smelled of sweat, his eyes could get streaky, and his breath smelled like onions.

And do you know how I realized that the girl he started living with loved him? I made sure that she had no problems with smell and vision.

Yes. Exactly. Anna perfectly felt all the smells of her boyfriend, saw the untidiness, but she was not disgusted by it. She remained gentle and caring. This is Love. I was truly happy when they got married.

When my man got off the train after that breakup at the beginning of our relationship, he also smelled like two days of mild unwashed hair, but I wasn’t disgusted. This all comes into the